What are they.? And why are they important.?
"Personal boundaries are guidelines, rules or limits that a person creates to identify for herself what are reasonable, safe and permissible ways for other people to behave around her and how she will respond when someone steps outside those limits."
That is the actual definition in the dictionary. When I first went to Pat as an empath, I had no boundaries. I would allow people to bash me, belittle me, talk down to me, question my judgment and flat out harass me energetically.
One day, I had wrote her because I was finding it very difficult to let go of my own negative thoughts. I was surrounded with so many people that always wanted to complain or start confrontation that I myself was constantly sucked into an argument of some sort. BTW, my short temper had everything to do with my own issues and nothing to do with them. We are all in control of our own ship.
But one of my comments to her was about people in my own family. I had told her that they just never have anything good to say. I couldn't handle the constant negative out-pour when I was working so hard to cancel myself . Being that Pat is like a wisdom fairy she said something that I have used ever since.
She told me, family or not, I needed to set personal boundaries for myself. If those people do not respect them, then separate yourself from them.
My personal boundaries are simple. I do not deal with negative. That means exactly that. So if all you're going to bring to the table is complaining or fighting, I will eat alone. Now, there are people in my life that haven't quite picked up on that and continue to bring stuff my way and that's ok. It keeps me on my toes. But I do the same, I step away.
When I say stand for yourself out of love, not anger I mean don't fight about it. There's no reason to. Your opinion is yours and theirs is theirs. This means everything, religion, politics, the kids whatever sparks that fire. You really don't need people to understand your boundaries, they just need to respect them.
So if for some reason they don't get it, take them out of your life for a bit until they do get it. If they never do, you are meant to be around other people. You are respecting yourself. Just always, ALWAYS do this out of love. There's no reason to hold onto it. It won't fix it, it won't make it go away, it happened. So, acknowledge the lesson, cancel the moment, send the person some love and move forward.
People tend to not let go. They say I forgive but then bring it back up eight thousand times. To truly forgive means to really let go and understand the situation for what it was. We cannot change it, it happened. But we also need to forgive people because we deserve the peace. Forgiveness is not about them, it's about you. So if someone cannot meet your boundaries it's ok to not feel guilt when you need to back away.
You cannot change the mind of another person , you can only change yourself. So if they cannot get un-stuck it is not your job to put the rope in their hand and climb the crap creek for them. You can only pull the rope once they've met half way. Find your confidence and say hey, when you want a pull call me. It's really very simple.
Love, love, love.. Yes we love these people. But remember the show Intervention.? Sometimes walking away is the best way for others to see the whole picture. For the lova all that's good stop being energy enablers!! Don't allow others to steal your light, it's yours.
Set up personal boundaries and stick up for yourself. There's nothing wrong with a little assertiveness. As long as it's truly done with love and respect for both parties. So start trying to figure out what your personal boundaries are. Once you've done that, make an imaginary line. If it gets crossed, don't hesitate to put your personal rules into action.
You are worth the peace of mind and comfort those boundaries create.
Love and Light,